My Final Entry
by Yusagi
Summary: Aeris' last Diary entry..before the end...sad, I hope....oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own Squareenix or anything associated with it. 

AN: I thought of this short story, lying awake one night, along with it's partner story, fragile Flower(actually, I dont remember its name...) It was originally supposed to be all 1st person...I was in a dark mood.....brooding... 

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_**My Final Entry**_

_I Remember....he looked so shocked when I told him I wanted to go out with him....but he was blushing......he was blushing... _

That was the best night of my life....never mind that cat ruining it all....I wished it would never end....he had been so happy and playful in the play...just thinking about his blissful ignorance of what was to come hurts...but he didn't know any better....I can't blame him....I just wish I didn't cry so hard.... 

I remember....The way he looked at me...I didn't need to hear the words, I knew he loved me... 

I ask myself why, why is the planet so cruel to her only child?? Why can I not love?! She had whispered so seductively in my mind, ' For every salvation, there must be a sacrifice...if you do not die, only you will survive..' 

She frowned as a tear smudged the ink on the paper 

_I wanted to forget it all for just one moment, to throw away my destiny....but no...I was never given that privilege, for as long as I can remember I have known.....when my mother whispered it in my ear before she died....she'd sounded so proud..... she wanted me to be proud, too.....but I can't....it hurts too much.....I am in agony....knowing I will never again see the one I love more than life...knowing that I blew the one chance I had to tell him how I felt..._

A tortured sob escaped her lips, and she tried in vain to wipe away her tears with frail hands. 

_If you read this, Cloud, Please....please.....forgive me.....I love you so much...._

She swallowed softly, then signed it, _In love, Aeris_

Her shaky hands were curiously steady, as she placed the diary in a nearby bush. 

Pain had drained from her, all that was left was emptiness, silent abyss where her soul had once lingered, she would pray, and she would die...that was it, that was the end.....that was the only reason she existed.... 

As she knelt, she did not blame the man who would murder her, he was as much a pawn in this cruel game as she.....she pitied him....she might have even cared for him, were her life any less set....but now all she wanted was Cloud to carry her away, despite the meteor, despite the consequences.....she wanted her blonde bodyguard with her...just once more she wished he would break the rules for his own selfish wants. 

_No...._ she chided herself, a tear sliding down her perfect cheek, _It cannot be...it could never be.....he doesn't even know where I am..._

" _Aeris!!!_" 

Her breathe caught in her throat, halting her prayer--_Cloud!!!!_

_No Cloud....don't save me....please....don't save me..._ Silently she finished her prayer, and looked up at him tenatively, afraid his voice was only a figment of her imagination...her blonde-haired warrior stood before her, relief and happiness in his eyes. 

_I love you..._

Pain shot through her, and relief melted to horror in Cloud's eyes, a small smile to a scream. 

The sacrifice had to be...it had to be....it had to.... 

She felt his arms around her, through the crimson haze she couls almost see his tears. 

" Aeris...." He whispered, " You can't die...." 

He was so quite....she wanted to hold onto him, to clutch onto him, like a drowning man a life-ring...but she couldn't move....she couldn't speak....she couldn't even see... 

The pitifulness of her situation made her want to cry. 

" You can't die..." He said, as if he thought it some huge joke, " Y-you see, you can't die...because.." 

She wanted to hear him say it...but it hurt so much....she couldn't bear the pain anymore... 

" Because..." 

Numbness began to spread throughout her body.....finally, the pain was subsiding.... 

" A-Aeris....I _Love_--" 

_It's too late for us......too...late..._

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"_ Love you!!!!!!_ Don't leave me! _AERIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Cloud cried, as her final, ragged. breath escaped her ruby lips. 

" N-no.....no....Aeris.....I....I failed....I couldn't protect you....I-I'm so sorry....I...I'm......so...." Cloud whispered, his tears burining his eyes, and his voice cracking, " .....Aeris......." 

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" Cloud.." 

" No, I'm fine....I'm just here to say goodbye..." He whispered, turning his back on the lake....on Aeris...it had been ten years...ten years since her life was so ruthlessly ripped from her... 

Something pink caught his eye in the shrubbery.. 

" Aeris....?" He whispered, walking up to it numbly, and pulling it carefully out of the bush. 

It was a small pink book, with the lingering scent of sweet perfume, it was clearly embossed in, fancy, gold-print with : MY DIARY. 

Somewhat hesitantly, he opened it to where a string was tied securely in place, and examide the weathered thread....it was the one Aeris had worn about her neck....then his eyes fell upon the tear-stained page, and he was unable to halt the sudden tears that ran down his cheeks. 

_Dear Diary, this is my final entry, Please Planet...if you ever cared about me, let Cloud find this... _

It has been awhile since I wrote....it's so cold now...I wish I had packed some food...but I guess it wouldn't matter anyway, since I came here to die. 

His hands shook, as he read the pink paper, she had known all along she was going to die, and never said anything. 

" Aeris...." He whispered, sobbing, as he numbly read the rest of it.  
  
_If you read this, Cloud...please...please...forgive me....I love you so much_

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AN: Well, what do you think...?....can't think of what to say..... 

Yusagi Sombermoon


End file.
